One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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