yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
