took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
