dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
