Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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