i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
