did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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