Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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