the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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