I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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