I just saw a hot homeless man
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
