Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
