that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
