While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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