I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
