Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He passed out mid-signature
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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