I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
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