the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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