4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
