I want to stick my p in your. b.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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