she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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