i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
