Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
