what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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