Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
love makes seman taste better
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I love you.
Bad choice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
