i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize