Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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