Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize