would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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