Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We have started to decorate penises.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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