Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
