you would pick up someone in the library
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize