There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
