I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
