OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
