My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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