I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
