Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
