Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
