The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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