Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
