I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
