actually, I'm a sock model
You're completely useless in the revolution.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
