So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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