I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
