rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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