I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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