I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
