please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
