ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My breath smells like gin and sadness
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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