nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
