8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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