maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
