I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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