We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
