who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
