When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
