i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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