He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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