You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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