If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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