Who wears a wallet chain?!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am one with the molecules
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
