just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
