Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
