We need to rekindle our bromance
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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