in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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