i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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