smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
