That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize