Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
