Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
