i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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