boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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