I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
