sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Randomize
