I molested 6 butterflies tonight
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You dont lie about slip and slides
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
