they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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