I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
