just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
