she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
