i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
