goodnight i made you a song goodbye
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are we still banned from the library?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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