i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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