I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
